..'flexible restraint'..

..these two words don't seem to belong together..

flexible- adaptive or variable

restraint- the ability to control..restrict or limit

..yet today i heard this phrase and it really got me thinking..

..life is about balance..

..we hopefully are taught from a very young age the difference between right and wrong..

..and now as adults we have a continual battle

of what areas of our life we need to learn to adapt and be flexible..

and on the contrary what parts we need to control..

for example..

parenting a 17 years and 10 1/2 month old requires

...'flexible restraint'..

..honestly.. its hard to know how to adapt your parenting of a young adult..

..as she still lives with us she has rules to follow out of respect for us as parents

..and we are also trying to give her more responsibility as she is growing up..

..ahhhhhh!!!

..'flexible restraint'..

..another example that was relayed to me today..

(for those of you that don't know.. i am back at WW..weight watchers)

..our gorgeous leader was talking today

about having a balance between..

..eating healthy foods the majority of the time..

..yet allowing for the occasional treat..

..after all..its hard to be 'good' all the time..

..'flexible restraint'..

hence.. life has to involve balance..

..whether it be the time we spend with family verses time spent with our friends..

..the amount we work or study compared with the time we take for ourselves..

..flexible restraint..

..even the way we conduct our selves in our close relationships..

..its important to be able to give and adapt in certain areas..

..but crucial to not forsake our values or who we really are!

..flexible restraint..

..can be mastered.

..its all about balance and at the end of the day being willing to

give a little without giving it all x

..i don't wanna be

anything other than me!

..i found my old gavin degraw cd this morning..

..popped it in after dropping rhegi at school.

..turned the volume up as high as my speakers would tolerate..

..and actually listened to the lyrics..

.. some of his songs are quite deep and meaningful..

(some are very confusing too.. haha )

anyway..

..this song kinda sums up where i am at right now..

..its a good song to belt out.. a good affirmation to make..

..part of where i'm going..is knowing where i'm coming from..

..i'm surrounded by imposter's everywhere i turn..
..i'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere i turn..

..am i the only one to notice?

..i cant be the only one to learn..
all i have to do..is think of me and i've peace of mind..

i'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what i gotta do..

..or who i'm supposed to be..

..i don't wanna be anything other than me!!

..its tough living a life wishing you were someone else..

..its hard trying to keep up with others..

for me.. it was difficult trying to find who 'me' was..

..and if people would accept 'me'!

now i can honestly say.. i am nearly there..

yes.. i value the opinion of those closest in my life..

..but for any one else..
..this IS me!! if you don't like me..

sorry.. cos..

I DON'T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN ME!

..what does it take to be happy...

..okay i need to apologise for my last few blogs..

..those of you who know me well..picked up on the fact that..

..i have been 'struggling' a little lately..

..so what does heidi marie do when she cant seem to pull herself out of her 'blah' state...

..i remind myself that happiness is a choice..

..and i have so many ways i can allow happiness to take back control of my life..

..sooo with the help of stephanie dowrick..here's how..

..pay attention to what is uplifting..

..think well of yourself..

when we do let ourselves down..we need to learn from it..

..make the necessary changes and move on!!

..regard our life as a gift..

..value what other people give you & everything they do for you..

..discover & value all of our strengths..

..emotional..intellectual..moral..social..

..practice forgiveness..

..let go of resentment..

..nurture tolerance..patience & good humour..

** express gratitude**

..find all the reasons you have to be grateful..

..giving time & attention to close relationships..
..concentrate on the positive qualities in people..
..find out what makes other people happy..
..& do more of that!

..value the simple pleasures in life..
..try new things or do the same thing in a different way..

..be the friend you would most like to have..
..practice tolerance with more understanding..

..respect your friends chosen paths..

..spend time with people that inspire you x

..be a peacemaker!!

practice kindness..live kindly..

..see yourself in others & others in yourself..

and focus on the present moment..

..don't worry about yesterday..you cant change it

& tomorrow is yet to come..

..find happiness in any or all of these things..

..it will truly make you forget your worries and

..you can make the choice to be grateful instead
x

...ignorance is bliss..

..the more we know..the more we question things..

then the more we realise how little we actually do know!

..hence i sometimes wish i was more ignorant to certain things in life..

..here i am 2 years into a psych degree & i am still struggling with

'who people really are'??

..often we say.. i thought i knew that person..

.. i thought i knew my dad..

..i thought i knew certain friends..

..fact is people change..

..the most frustrating thing is when we have no understanding of why?..

..no straight forward reason for the change..

..no answer..no explanation..

..this is where it makes it really hard to move on..
..frustrating to say the least..
..that's why we question "who is this person i thought i knew so well??

& of coarse as i am learning there is always a reason behind peoples
actions..
an explanation for why they are acting so differently to what we know of them..
..why they have suddenly changed..


..but sometimes we may never find out!!!

..this is where we have to let it go!
..where we have to let it be & move forward..

..fact is we very seldom will get to know who people 'really' are...

...and for the few that we do...

they should get all of our respect..love & tolerance

x

..sticks and stones..

will break my bones...

...but names will never hurt me????

hmmm remember this phrase our parents taught us..
..this is SO NOT TRUE..

..our parents taught us this 'rhyme' to help us not get upset when people hurt us...

but the fact is..regardless of intentions or motives..
we still get hurt & hurt other people..

..it IS really hurtful when people call us names or gossip behind our back..

..its actually a really helpful thing to remember..

..bitching is like a female dog..

it will come back to bite you in the ass..

Yet..we are all guilty of it at times and making excuses doesn't make it right..

...i know that we can honestly say things

without thinking about the consequences sometimes..

..and we usually don't want to hurt the other person..

..fact is we may not intentionally do it..

...we can be thoughtless by the words we say..

but still..words do hurt!!

..we may be powerless to what other people say about us..

and as i have said before..
..people usually say awful things about you

when they are unhappy with themselves..

..or we may just make a comment that is taken the wrong way..

..that's why it is important to think before we speak..

and if its too late and you have spoken some hurtful words..

...be honest & apologise..

..it may take time for the other person to forgive..

BUT

if they are a true friend..they will!!

cos no one is perfect..we all hurt and get hurt..

we just gotta know the people worth hurting for x

..and we all know sticks and stones break our bones..

..and names really can hurt you

..so try and be aware the words you speak..as they really can hurt..

..and treat people how you would like to be treated
x

...hope...

as martain luther king jnr. once said..

'we must accept finite disappointment...

...but never lose intimate hope'...

hope is..

..a wish or feeling of desire for something..

..having great expectations..

hope is knowing when things are bad they could possibly be worse..

..and when things are at their worst they can only get better...

..hope is the feeling that your feelings aren't permanent..

...hope is always available to us..

..when you feel defeated..

..take a deep breath and remember this too shall pass..

hold on to hope!

..the tiniest thread can twist into an unbreakable chord..

...let hope anchor you to the possibility that this is NOT

the end of your story...

..as things begin to change..

...you will find the way to a peaceful shore...

..it may take longer than you think or wish..

..but meanwhile take one step at a time..


...with the hope that tomorrow is a new day

full of possibilities..

one day at a time..one hour at a time

x

..nothing less than perfect..

..any of you that know me will appreciate the fact that

when i get a song stuck in my head its all i sing..out loud..over and over..

so pinks new song was one of them that we were screaming out loud to on our way home

early hours of sunday morning

and it got me thinking about the lyrics..

(minus the big 'f bomb' in the middle of the chorus

and a few lines that aren't really relative)

..the song speaks of how important it is to value who you are

regardless of your mistakes or how others treat you..

..made a wrong turn once or twice..

dug my way out.. blood and fire..

..bad decisions.. that's alright..
welcome to my silly life...

mistreated..misplaced..misunderstood..

miss 'no way, its all good'..

mistaken.. always second guessing..
underestimated... look i'm still around!

..you're so mean when you talk about yourself..

..change the voices in your head..

...make them like you instead..

..pretty pretty please don't you ever ever feel..

like your nothing but simply perfect!!

because we are all unique..

..we shouldn't let our past be the ruler of our future..

..we definitely should not allow others to determine our self worth..

..we are perfect..we just do some stupid things at times..

so no one has the right to judge you

and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself..

we just need to keep on working at being the best person we can be

xxx

..small sacrifices..

sacrifice..
..to surrender anything for the sake of something

considered as having a higher or more pressing claim..

..and what is more pressing than the people who have been affected by the floods..

..now is the perfect time to make even the smallest sacrifice..

..whether it be donating goods...

..volunteering your time..

..baking for volunteers..

..putting your spare change into a bucket..

..helping clean up..

..supporting a fund raising event..

..even your prayers and encouragement..

..the waters are subsiding but there is still SO much to be done..

..even the smallest sacrifice of time..money..clothing..food..water..

means so much to these survivors of such an awful disaster...

..it doesn't have to be big..you don't have to spend alot of money..

..you don't have to give of all your time..

..anything is better than nothing..

its a great time to clean out your wardrobes..

..add an extra lot of cans to your shopping trolley..

..if you are making a dozen muffins for the family..make 2 dozen..

the smallest sacrifices are the biggest blessings to those who have lost so much

xxx