...CHANGE OF PLANS...

...so i am a 'goal oriented person'...i like structure...i like to know whats happening next in my life..
....i don't appreciate change and i suppose you'd call me a little 'obsessive'...

...well i can honestly say...

...that without knowing it...without an actual awareness at at the time...

...my life plans...goals... just changed!

...that's the fact...
...the point is...

...i survived and i am OK!!!

...at 18 my goals were:

to finish uni...work for a while...be married by 25... kids by 30...

and then raise them, working part time until i felt they were able to look after themselves...

...then to travel and establish my own business... work hard and retire early!!!

...hahahahahahahaahahhaahahahahahahahahahaah...

...for any one that doesn't know me...THOSE PLANS CHANGED!!!

...and never did i regret anything along the way...

...the mistakes i've made...the people i've loved and lost...none of that was planned for...that was just LIFE!!

...and now as i am about to embark on my very first holiday without my girls (who are now 16 and 18)

...i reflect back on how different my plans are now...

...my goals had to be revised...and i am still OK!!

...and although i do ALWAYS aim to achieve goals i am definitely focusing on enjoying and living in the moment...

...cos honestly...who knows what tomorrow brings???

...my plans were to have kids at 30 and i had my first at 20...

...my plan was to work part time raising my kids...now i am a full time uni student and volunteer a few days at week...

...living in the now has also has helped me become OK with change!

...change doesn't have to be bad..it's just different...

and often by taking one day at a time...it takes the pressure off ones self...

...it also has helped me move forward in friendships...

...relationships..

...for who is to say that people cant change too??

..people DOOO change...i have changed...circumstances have made me change...

...at my core i still hold a great deal of my values established as a child...actually i am probably a great deal closer to that person than i have been over the last 10 years...

...and yes i have altered my views on ALOT of things...

but...

i have gained back my tolerance...forgiveness...patience...understanding that i had lost for a while...

...don't get me wrong..people still confuse the heck out of me... i am just less quick to judge!

...i only know that for now...i am proud to say i am OK if life's plans change for me...

...still 'goal focused'...and also a tad 'obsessive'...

NOW...

i KNOW that i have already undertaken some of THE most joyous 'unexpected' changes of plans ( NO 1# being Tayla & Rhegan)

...so who knows... i might head down a 'unplanned' path that will be yet another one of the greatest journey of my life x