what's my lesson here?

...part of becoming the best person i can be..

...part of working on self development is about realising that things happen as they should...or some would say everything happens for a reason...

...so often i still find myself asking WHY???

...what lesson am i meant to be learning here? why has this situation come about and what can i take from it?

...i also am finding that when we don't 'learn' the lesson or change from it...

that same thing will occur over and over again until we do!!

for example...

i lost my mum years ago...

..while she was dying we looked at a place on the GC to place her during her last days...

....long story but she did not end up there...

...yet here i am volunteering in an organisation and today i discover that i will be working in that place for the next few months...

...and even more amazing... there will be someone in my group that has a family member dying the same way my mum did!!!
...coincidence???

i actually don't believe so...

...yet why?

why why why
...i am questioning why 'this' is something i am about to experience...and how unbelievable it is that i am working in this place...
...whats my lesson here?

...confusing?? yes!!!

confronting...yes...

....am i nervous???

...Lord yes!!!!!!!

but....

....although i am questioning it...

...i am also VERY aware that my journey this year was to walk a path where i would be as true to myself as possible...

...part of this includes reminding myself...

at this time...in this moment...

i am in the right place...at the right time...doing the right thing...
this new experience is yet just another stepping stone to creating an even greater awareness of who i am...
...the more i know who i am and what makes me the person i am...

...the greater i am going to be able to help others...

for as i am seeing more and more...people open up to people who are real and authentic because they don't feel they have to be something they are not...

soooo
whats my lesson here? not sure??!! i will keep you posted...
...and it doesn't matter if i struggle a little along the way...i may get a little 'freaked out'...i may hyperventilate in that place...

buttttt

i am willing to look within and try and discover what this experience is trying to teach me?

...CHANGE OF PLANS...

...so i am a 'goal oriented person'...i like structure...i like to know whats happening next in my life..
....i don't appreciate change and i suppose you'd call me a little 'obsessive'...

...well i can honestly say...

...that without knowing it...without an actual awareness at at the time...

...my life plans...goals... just changed!

...that's the fact...
...the point is...

...i survived and i am OK!!!

...at 18 my goals were:

to finish uni...work for a while...be married by 25... kids by 30...

and then raise them, working part time until i felt they were able to look after themselves...

...then to travel and establish my own business... work hard and retire early!!!

...hahahahahahahaahahhaahahahahahahahahahaah...

...for any one that doesn't know me...THOSE PLANS CHANGED!!!

...and never did i regret anything along the way...

...the mistakes i've made...the people i've loved and lost...none of that was planned for...that was just LIFE!!

...and now as i am about to embark on my very first holiday without my girls (who are now 16 and 18)

...i reflect back on how different my plans are now...

...my goals had to be revised...and i am still OK!!

...and although i do ALWAYS aim to achieve goals i am definitely focusing on enjoying and living in the moment...

...cos honestly...who knows what tomorrow brings???

...my plans were to have kids at 30 and i had my first at 20...

...my plan was to work part time raising my kids...now i am a full time uni student and volunteer a few days at week...

...living in the now has also has helped me become OK with change!

...change doesn't have to be bad..it's just different...

and often by taking one day at a time...it takes the pressure off ones self...

...it also has helped me move forward in friendships...

...relationships..

...for who is to say that people cant change too??

..people DOOO change...i have changed...circumstances have made me change...

...at my core i still hold a great deal of my values established as a child...actually i am probably a great deal closer to that person than i have been over the last 10 years...

...and yes i have altered my views on ALOT of things...

but...

i have gained back my tolerance...forgiveness...patience...understanding that i had lost for a while...

...don't get me wrong..people still confuse the heck out of me... i am just less quick to judge!

...i only know that for now...i am proud to say i am OK if life's plans change for me...

...still 'goal focused'...and also a tad 'obsessive'...

NOW...

i KNOW that i have already undertaken some of THE most joyous 'unexpected' changes of plans ( NO 1# being Tayla & Rhegan)

...so who knows... i might head down a 'unplanned' path that will be yet another one of the greatest journey of my life x

...ONE WAY ST...

...do you ever feel like your relationships are on a one way st??

...do you drive the relationship...make all the plans..

...do all the driving...give all of your self and time??

...and you get to a busy intersection in life...and notice your passenger isn't there!!

...or maybe they are heading in the opposite direction?

...they are not on the same journey as you...

or all of the relationship is one way...

...sometimes we may point out to someone that they are heading for a crash...

...but they have such a blind spot...they ignore us and turn in the opposite direction...and we watch them face a head on collision...

...or we often find we are happily being in someone else's car and going on their journey...

...but when we ask them to be our navigator they don't have the time or make the effort...

...life is not full of one way streets...thank goodness...

...if not we'd be driving around in circles...

...relationships need to be lived on a two way street...with equal travelling time...

...even responsibility...

...where we are just as happy to be on someone we loves journey... as much as we appreciate them coming on ours...

...relationships would be so much easier if we thought about sharing our

travelling time and working together as a team to get through life's journeys...

...one way streets are confusing and never feel quite right when we are on them...

...so lets try and drive through life sharing the road...the travel time..

...the journey x

...motherhood...

..i always expected i would be a mum :)

...probably not as soon as i did...but definitely THE most wonderful gift i ever received...

...i think as parents we sometimes forget that our children are on 'loan' to us...

..they in actual fact belong to themselves and we are privileged to be their caretakers...

...so we need be mindful of the life lessons we teach them..

...always love them...

...especially when they are not being 'lovable' because that's usually when they need us the most...

...expect to do all the things as mothers do:

...babysitting...cooking...cleaning...taxiing...loving...giving...being an ATM...

BUT expect nothing in return...

...try to go with the flow...

...cherish each moment...for there is no other time...

...so embrace motherhood....

..learn from the 'difficult' times...to make the next moment more enjoyable...

...as mothers...one of the biggest gifts we can give our children...

...is to listen to them and value them...

...and as a result we can trust they will become

respectful...tolerant...empathic human beings :)

and so importantly...

...as mums in all that we do for our children and our families...

...it is crucial to remember:

...always look after ourselves...

...so we can look after our family...

...and be the best mums we can be x

...live...laugh...love...

..laugh insanely...forgive quickly...love truly..

..i don't want to get to the end of my life and find i have just lived the length...i want to have lived the breadth as well...

...its not a bad thing to go along in life...living in the moment...

...to set goals and work towards them...

...to be focused...driven...determined...

...but how much greater to go through life enjoying those things...

...to embrace every single thing we are working hard for...

...to enjoy the journey just as much as the reward at the end...

...yes often the road to our goals is tough and full of challenges...but how much sweeter will that accomplishment be...if we endure the ride with acceptance...

...if we stumble along the way...

...we can get back up...say its ok...not beat ourselves up...

...but ask what have i learnt here?

...even if its as simple as..i wont be so stupid next time...

...every single thing that happens along life's journey...can teach us something...

...its not always a lesson we want to learn...

...it can at times be heart breaking...

...but learning to be ok with how we feel is the hardest part ...

...because we are conditioned as infants not to cry...'shhh little baby'...

...and we are thinking...but hey...I'm hungry...i cant talk...

....this is the only way i can deal with this problem...

...and from then on...we are taught things like..

'Be Happy...there is someone worse off than you'...

...'there is no point crying...you cant change the situation'...

...'you shouldn't hate anyone'...

well...guess what...its OK to have all those feelings!!!!

...its what we do with them....

....so how nice would it be to go through life aware of this and just go with it??

...not letting it take over...

...and then refocus on enjoying every aspect of our journey...

..once again it comes back to choices...

...we can choose to meander through life without really living ...

...but how much sweeter to embrace it?!!!

... and choose to laugh often...

...be okay with disappointmant..anger...saddness...

...and really love those who are there for us...

heids x

...be responsible for the energy you bring to this space....

...a beautiful friend of mine gave me this quote today...

...she said Oprah used it in her final show (which i am yet to see)...

...and said it was one of the most valuable lessons she had learned in her 25 years on tv...

...its another one of those simple yet 'ah ha' sayings that when you think about it is an amazing tool in self awareness...

...be responsible...for the 'energy' YOU bring to this place...

...where ever we are...whomever we are with...

... its important to be accountable for the things we say and the way we behave...

...we cant take on board how people react to what we say or do...

...we cant feel guilty if people take things personally...

...BUT we CAN own the way we behave and the mood we bring to our interactions with others...

...for eg... when i go to counsel the kids... if i am having a rough day...it would be so cruel and selfish of me to take that energy into that room with them...

...its so important to be aware of others feelings and often how we act...our non verbal communication says SO much more than the words we speak...

...we need to be mindful of how we feel and behave affects those around us...

...we cant be accountable for others and how they act...

...but we surely can take responsibility for the energy we bring to each interaction with others...

...the children are our future...

...i believe the children are our future...
...teach them well and let them lead the way...

...show them all the beauty they possess inside...

...teach them a sense of pride...

...to make it easier...

...let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be...

..an oldie but a goodie...
...whitney definitely worded that verse perfectly!

...as most of you know i am currently working counselling kids...

...its such an amazing privilege to be part of an incredible organisation that helps so many children who are suffering awful losses...

...each day i hear heart breaking stories and witness the amazing courage in these little people...

...it has given me the opportunity to once again solidify my belief that our children are OUR future! these kids were not asked to be bought into the world and now they are here...it is OUR responsibility as parents...aunties/uncles...teachers...carers and counsellors to HELP them develop the skills to become the best people they can be...

...we need to assist them in finding the ways to be strong independent individuals that are not afraid to experience their feelings and the appropriate ways to deal with the losses that will inevitably come there way...

...we as adults need to encourage them and show them ALL the beauty they possess inside...

...to be proud of their accomplishments and who they are...

...we do not need to put OUR adult 'issues' on them nor blame them or involve them in our 'stuff'...

..let's help our children to be confident...caring...loving...genuine people... that will grow up to be well adjusted adults in touch with their feelings and accepting of others...

...our children...our future...